Tuesday, October 06, 2009


This could be the worst Family Guy clip I've ever seen.


Sunday, September 20, 2009

the valenzetti equation is REAL

In Bulgaria, the same six lottery numbers were drawn twice in a row.

The numbers were:

4, 15, 23, 24, 35, and 42.

Emphasis mine.

One wonders: What are the odds?

But you already know what I'm going to say:

Do not mistake coincidence for fate.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Sandra Lee recut

This is pretty funny.

Monday, July 20, 2009

youtube video

I can't remember how I found this.

Monday, July 13, 2009

auto tune the news vol. 6


meltdown by rob thomas

Average video turns awesome.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

more LOST

LOST season 6 will be one episode longer than previously announced.



Tuesday, June 30, 2009


short, great bass video

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I recommend CUBE.

Monday, June 22, 2009

auto-tune the news

I have yet to see auto-tune used for something better than this.

triumph triumph

part 1:

part 2:

Saturday, June 20, 2009

nip/tuck spinoffs

I caught up on part two of Nip/Tuck's fifth season. The relationships still evolve like those in a soap opera - every time I think they've exhausted every ridiculous possibility, I'm invariably surprised again. Some of the episodes from this portion have been pretty impressive, though, recalling the design of the show's golden years that engendered its palpable empathy.

Still, Nip/Tuck wouldn't be Nip/Tuck without some obligatory sensationalism, and the hit-or-miss inclusion of "contemporary issues" sparked further investigation. Here are two that reminded me of stuff worth sharing.

Number one: Objectum sexuality. People who love objects instead of other people.

This is Erika Eiffel, a woman who "married" the Eiffel Tower. Dietz told me a few weeks ago about a documentary he'd seen featuring a world-class archer who was in love with her bow, but broke up with her bow (Lance) and married the Eiffel Tower. I found these chunks of it on youtube, albeit peppered with peanut-gallery annotations.

Number two: Cryonics. Not an entirely new idea, but it seemed like Nip/Tuck did a pretty good job portraying its specious econoscientific status.

The dubiety in the episode reminded me of an broadcast of This American Life I heard a couple of months ago. If you have 45 minutes to kill, it's absolutely worth a listen. The episode is about half-assed apologies, but the central story focuses on a guy named Bob Nelson of the Cryonics Society of California and his involvement with cryonics around the 1970s. The story devolves into a bizarre, heartbreaking, disturbing mess.


Skip the boring first portion, but after the cryonics story, keep listening to the last section for a nice relief. It's about a famous poem (and homages to it), "This Is Just to Say" by William Carlos Williams, that's rooted semi-apology. And it makes me hungry for plums.

(img, img, img, img)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

it makes me wanna fart

Great article from College Humor:

10 Fictional Camps You Do Not Want To Send Your Kids To

I love that they included this one:

From The Addams Family Values
This camp's screening process is questionable at best. When the Addams children apply to enroll in your summer camp, and it looks like they really don't want to be there, chances are you should let them leave. With a lifestyle that seems at least mostly detached from reality, there is a good chance that forcing them to remain at Camp Chippewa will cause illogically timed Thanksgiving pageants to be ruined and children to be physically threatened.

Children locked up and tortured: 3

People rotisseried: 2
Another scary camp:

Add it to the list.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

a Tedeschi that I AM related to

My Great Aunt Jane:

Short article. Pretty awesome.

Friday, May 29, 2009

silk surprise

I wish the article said how long it took for this to happen.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

a trend.

23 years ago, an amateur fossil hunter discovered something in a fossil pit near Whocares, Germany. For reasons unknown (my guess is he's a jerk), he kept it a secret until three years ago when he decided he wanted some money (probably bet against the Steelers). He sold the object via a third party to a Norwegian paleontologist for an undisclosed, less-than-one-million-dollars amount. The object was kept a secret so it could be studied closely.

Until yesterday.

The object:

Darwinius masillae, or "Ida."

The Internet:

crapping its pants.

Seems like guy-with-line-through-the-o-in-his-name wanted to earn back some of that undisclosed, less-than-one-million-dollars amount, because the scientific paper on Ida was released in tandem with an enormous publicity campaign including a jazzy website and some ridiculous quotes. Hurum says,
"It is the scientific equivalent of the Holy Grail. This fossil will probably be the one that will be pictured in all textbooks for the next 100 years."He also compared the future museum display to the Mona Lisa (which, of course, it will remain for the next 100 years). Even the guy who narrates Planet Earth needs a change of underwear.

Point: This is a great discovery. The hyperbolic reaction just needs some abating.

That said, I look forward to learning more about my great Aunt Ida

and the continued webwide reaction to her discovery.

Monday, May 18, 2009

great graph

Graph about topic trends:

It will also hold true for trending discussions of trending topics.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

the world must know

The other night, while we were waiting for LOST, Phelps mentioned a new NBC show called Community that was to star Chevy Chase.

Curious about Chase's recent activity, I ordered Phelps to connect his computer to my skull to find out his last TV or movie appearance of note that I remembered. We determined that technology would not yet allow such an action, so he used IMDb. 1997's Vegas Vacation was the winner, but we ended up not caring about that once the following sequence of ludicrous discovery was initialized.

Chase is starring in an upcoming (?) 2009 film called Not Another Not Another Movie. The ridiculous title and its spoof-movie-spoof implications seized our full attention.

The IMDb summary:In this non- stop hilarious ride we follow a struggling Movie Studio that is willing to do anything to make a buck even if it means ruining its reputation, and running the Movie Industry into the ground. This film has everything that an audience wants from a LAUGH OUT LOUD COMEDY by taking a no-holds barred attack on the Spoof Genre from Blockbuster Action movies to Dramas and Documentaries to Popular Television shows. --Written by David MurphyI clicked David Murphy's name to see if he had written any other summaries. No dice.

Returning to the IMDb page, we noticed that the film also stars Vinnie Jones, Michael Madsden, and Burt "Cop and a Half" Reynolds.

Additionally, we noticed that the movie was directed by a one David Murphy. I didn't recognize any of his other titles, but I did recognize his name from 30 seconds earlier when I read the IMDb plot summary.

Quick sidebar: Here is the plot summary for his most recent movie, No Bad Days:

Set in the exotic terrain of the Yucatan Peninsula, NO BAD DAYS is an action/adventure film that manifests all the qualities that make for an entertaining and captivating film. The fast-pace style makes for a surprise at every turn, while the charisma and chemistry of the main characters create a romantic subplot. [etc. etc.]
-- Written by Instinct Productions
Guess what production company made No Bad Days.

Back to the more important, possibly most-important-of-all-time movie. We traveled to its official website. Just go there--it's all gold. Make sure to check the "in the news" section.

The movie is about the creation of a spoof movie that spoofs spoof movies. Reynolds plays the actor playing the director in the movie in the movie, and his character is none too pleased about starring in a shoddy spoof spoof.

Later that night, we found the trailer.

I am concerned that Not Another Not Another Movie will be terrible. I was excited about Pauly Shore is Dead, and we all know how that turned out. I wouldn't expect much from a movie like this, either. Regardless, the sky-high concept and ingenious marketing approach is enough to warrant a try, if only so I can be in on the joke.

The only release date the internet has to offer is "2009." We may have already missed it. If not, I hope there's a midnight premiere planned. Because I'll be there.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

great movie lines

not bad.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Sunday, May 03, 2009

nuke the phones

Man microwaves cell phone.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

benjamin linus slam poetry

Thank you Charles!

via pie heaven

the mark inside

I finally watched Naked Lunch with commentary by David C-berg and Peter "Robocop" Weller... it was beautifully revealing, if incredibly dense. If you don't know the movie, it's about a writer/exterminator who becomes addicted to insecticide and, after he shoots his wife and his typewriter turns into a beetle, starts descending a bottomless, hallucinatory hole, seeking bizarre replacement fixes to vindicate his behavior.

I haven't read the book yet--the movie itself is only loosely based on it, while the rest is taken either from Burroughs's life and other work or Cronenberg's own brain. I'm fascinated by anything Burroughs I've encountered thus far--even his idiosyncratic voice, which Cronenberg describes as "metallic, nasal, Midwestern twang."

Two examples:

Recently featured on boing boing, an animation by some guy using a Burroughs audio clip:

And the striking opening to season 6 of The Sopranos. I could watch this over and over again.

screenwriting lemonadier whines about film industry

A wiseass writer in Hollywood is selling lemonade to finance his probably terrible film. (He's also using the above photo that he found on the internet to market his concoction.)

Not since Hollis Frampton's Lemon have filmmaking and the yellowest citrus cooperated with such harmony.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

is everything more awesome in slow motion?

This video got such an enthusiastic response from Twitter fanatic Ram Calley on facebook that I decided to post it here.
Graphic Content Advisory Warning

Saturday, April 18, 2009

seriously, not youtube

Sick of youtube?

For a refreshing alternative, visit notyoutube.com.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

A wolf loves pork.

Amazing. Watch it all.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

just in case

The place has other shirts, too.

the tone matrix

Coolest thing on the entire internet:

Tone Matrix

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

appy polly loggies

Love to continue updating, but I need to practice now.

nice package

What is this?

Why, it's one of 20 Unusual and Creative Packaging Designs, of course.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

RC & co. sing ABC


I was perusing the job section of Ithaca's craigslist page and found an ad recruiting staff for an Urban Outfitters that's to open in Ithaca this summer. As I understand, the only UOs in New York State are either buried in the city or in the Galleria Mall in Buffalo. I had never been to one before last month at the Mall of America in Minnesota - I liked it very much. I even took a picture.

I did some searching to confirm the craigslist ad and found an article from the Cornell Daily Sun.

So it's true. But two things in that article caught my eye:
Allie Strauss ’11 agreed. “I think nothing better has ever happened in Ithaca,” she said.and
“The reason I liked Yale so much is because there was an Urban Outfitters right in town,” Brooke Flohr ’12 said. “Now I have no regrets left about coming to Cornell.”Either Cornell students are becoming exponentially more insane, or the CDS staff doesn't care if their articles are stuffed with just-say-anything filler quotes. Anyway, I bought a shot glass ice cube mold and a square of grass. The clothes are expensive there.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

wall decoration for anti-dentites

Charles, buy this poster.

There's a reference key and everything.

good video

eggs perfecto

Adam, try this.


I don't think I know what crème fraîche is, but it looks good.

Also, if you're as tired of not being able to eat the colored part of an easter egg as I am, try this.


U2 can make a deal

Found in the away message of DC shutterbug pal Sanjay:

Hiroshi Sugimoto’s No Cash Deal With U2

When I first saw the headline, I thought it meant U2 was trying to use the photo with no compensation. Not so, but I'll get to that. Then I saw the part about
“I said, ‘Are you sure? If you use it you won’t be able to put anything on top of it, not even the U2 name,” the artist remembered.and I recalled what the cover looked like:

Actually, the equals sign is just on the plastic wrapper, not the real "cover." (Why would they do that?)

Also, the U2-haters at Pitchfork were quick to the punch earlier this year in sort-of accusing U2 of copying someone else's idea.

The point is, instead of monetary payment, Sugimoto gets to use a U2 song in a project for whatever he wants. Cool idea.

Here is said song, a grab-bag sample of U2's histrionic mediocrity.


Wednesday, April 01, 2009

my 4/1

Last night, per Anne's suggestion, I bought a 72-pack of party balloons from Wal-Mart. I was going to put them in Caitlin's car, because she hates balloons, but I had to abort that plan at around 1 in the morning... after I'd blown them all up (Hansen helped) and stuffed them into my own car, including in the trunk.

This morning, I drove to Caitlin's house when she was at work. It was locked.

I drove around some more, trying to think of who else I could surprise. I even stopped at the swim house and walked around inside; nobody was home, save one person who was using the shower. I figured it'd've been too weird if he walked out of the bathroom and saw me parading around his house with handfuls of balloons.

I was ready to admit an ironic defeat... my car was filled with balloons

and it was probably going to stay that way. Happy April Fools' Day, me.

Then I got a message a half-hour before Caitlin was supposed to return--it was her roommate, telling me I could come and execute the prank. Now or never, I thought, and sprang into action.

10 minutes later,

I know it doesn't look like that many. They were supposed to go in her car.

About 20 minutes after I left, I got this message:

"I want you to know i cut open each one individually so they wouldn't pop. Because you know i am terrified of balloons and its not funny. Payback."

Yeah, well, it could be worse:

While I'm at it, some more balloon-related content.

(the original danny deckchair. I reviewed a play based on this guy at Syracuse last month)

youtube classic:

the illustrious don hertzfeldt:

a link, because Discovery on YouTube does not allow embedding, to the ever popular slow-mo water balloon to the face:

[here you can pretend there's a link to one of the innumerable youtube videos of scantily clad women blowing up large balloons until they pop]

and some excellent balloon related games:
Bloons Tower Defense 3

finally, one more documentation from Caitlin's roommate.



rule of the internet - good websites will do something funny on april 1

youtube has a new format, explained here

wikipedia is featuring the Musem of Bad Art and says that
... a team of archaeologists discovered a fossilized Han Solo in the rocks of Chinagoogle has introduced gmail autopilot
(probably nobody remembers this)

the pirate bay has partnered with warner brothers

maddox, who has altered his website thrice previously, didn't do anything because he has jury dury.

college humor has pretended to be taken over by axe, which should not count as a prank

I don't think pitchfork did anything, but they really liked trent reznor's prank

that covers all I can think of offhand.. if you need more, I suppose you can go here.

also, in unrelated news, LOSTpedia says that in a "shockingly quiet press release yesterday," it's been announced that M. Night Shymalan will direct the series finale. that probably means Jack has been dead this whole time, which I KEEP TELLING EVERYONE

update on what I did today forthcoming

Friday, March 27, 2009

culture barometer

Search for something, anything. See where and when people are conducting that same search.

Pennsylvania is the state that most often searches for "cheesesteak."

There's a spike in LOST searches right around the premiere and the finale every year.

Infinite possibility!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

more daft punk

Idaft: a straightforward website toy for daft punk fans

widened colum

Thanks to John Deere Mom, my main column is 240 pixels wider.

VCR hackery

Adam loves this video.


dusty foot philosopher

I heard piece on the radio about a Somali-Canadian rapper named K'naan.
I like his style. The content could use some development (90% of it seems to recurrently lament Somalian street life) - but his delivery and his voice are what hook me. He's got a pretty interesting story, too - he taught himself how to rap, imitating American artists he admired, before he learned English. I like the song "Dreamer" from his new album, Troubadour, the fourth one down at his website. You can download the song "Somalia" for free at his myspace page.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

dwarfed punk

Nicely done.

sturgeon faces

Bad comparison... good website. Check it out before it finishes making the rounds and flitters into obsolescence.


Wednesday, March 04, 2009


I went on a wikipedia rampage the other night that led me somewhere worth mentioning. I didn't save any of it, so I'll have to do it from memory.

It all started when I was playing Guitar Hero. I finally beat "Hot for Teacher" on expert in World Tour.
I was so happy I decided to go online.

I looked up "Hot for Teacher" in Google and found its Wikipedia page.
That led me to the article about the album that the song is from,
where I learned that
1984 peaked at #2 on the Billboard Magazine album charts (#1 at the time was Thriller, which featured an Eddie Van Halen guitar solo on "Beat It," which Roth had criticized[1]) and contained future hits "Jump", "Panama", "I'll Wait", and "Hot for Teacher".So I clicked on the link for Thriller
and went right to the page for Michael Jackson. Look, there he is!
Incidentally, this picture was taken in 1984. Anyway, I promise this is going somewhere. From the lede of the MJ article:
In the early 1980s, he became a dominant figure in popular music and the first African-American entertainer to amass a strong crossover following on MTV."Crossover" was linked. So I clicked on it. Interesting article, though it could use some work. Third graf:In practice crossover frequently results from the appearance of the music in question in a film soundtrack. For instance, Sacred Harp music experienced a spurt of crossover popularity as a result of its appearance in the 2003 film Cold Mountain, and bluegrass music experienced a revival due to the reception of 2000's O Brother, Where Art Thou?. Even atonal music, which tends to be less popular among classical enthusiasts, has a kind of crossover niche, since it is widely used in film and television scores "to depict an approaching menace," as noted by Charles Rosen[citation needed]Okay, here we go. That Sacred Harp thing they mention does not mean harp music that is religiously pointed; it's actually... wait, what the hell is it?
Well, it's a type of choral Shape Note music, something to do with solfège, but I know when Wikipedia offers me more to bite off than I can chew. The good stuff is in the Sacred Harp article. I can't quote the entire thing, but for example:
Sacred Harp singers view their tradition as a participatory one, not a passive one. Those who gather for a singing sing for themselves and for each other, and not for an audience...

...The leader, being equidistant from all sections, in principle hears the best sound. The often intense sonic experience of standing in the center of the square is considered one of the perquisites of leading, and sometimes a guest will be invited as a courtesy to stand next to the leader during a song.

The music itself is also meant to be participatory. Most forms of choral composition place the melody on the top (treble) line, where it can be best heard by an audience, with the other parts written so as not to obscure the melody. In contrast, Sacred Harp composers have aimed to make each musical part singable and interesting in its own right, thus giving every singer in the group an absorbing task.
That's all. Kind of makes me want to rent Cold Mountain, but why bother when everything I want is...yes, I know you're thinking the same thing.



Someone is a genius. At failsticker.com, you can buy rolls of stickers that say "FAIL" just like on photos on the internet. Here's an example from their "user-submitted photos":
Hilarious. It says FAIL on the toilet. The site is fairly young, so I imagine someone just went around their house and stuck a sticker somewhere in each room, but I really hope this goes nowhere. I'm all for internet jokes--but they should stay where they came from. I accept that in the future, every time someone drops a plate of food at a restaurant there will be someone (probably someone young and hip) pridefully smirking for their being the first to offer a spoken "FAIL" ... but I don't have to like it.